| Neither love nor evil conquers all, but evil cheats more. |
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| please help |
[25 Aug 2006|09:26pm] |
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so i'm sitting here totally stressing out. i shouldnt b but i am. i just got an email regarding a film that is being shot in boston that was postponed that it has been rescheduled for oct and 1 day in nov... its bout 9 days of shooting, 7 of which i'd have to skip classes to go to... in all honesty i really want to do this... think it would be fun and kinda be something different and mayb even give me opps for later... but the fact that i'd be missing classes a few days a week for about 3 weeks... i just dont know what to do... and the casting call is the 9th and i'm trying to figure out whether or not to do it... if anyone has any advice or anything please let me know... would appriciate any input from anyone cuz i cant figure out what to do....
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| thoughts |
[04 Aug 2006|04:18pm] |
so i'm sitting in my room going over things/thought from the last few days... a little bugged out by a few thigns that have happened, confused by a few others, excited about a few more, and interested to see how the rest turn out...
first of all im just going to throw this thought out into the cyber world... is there a hand book for "proper behavior of truck drivers" that many of them follow??? i mean where do they get off thinking that females like it when they get hit on by them??? who gave them the idea that it is cool/ok for them to blow kisses and yell crude comments out their windows??? i mean i guess a smile, nodd, wave, honk isnt all that bad.. had my share of "chasing" down a truck driver while driving to senior prom w/ my ladies... but old, fat, balding or bone skinny, balding, w/ missing/roting teeth and doing that shit is just... sketchy!!! and the worst part was i was driving to from home to the apt, and then to the dentist (another hour in a diff direction)... and there was a line of em each way doing it... EEEWWWWWW!! and its not like i dress like a slut and go out "asking for that"... i clothes on that covered me... my windows were down and my music was blaring... but they still felt the urge to yell out various things... not to mention the creepy old drunk black guy that lives in my building who greeted me w/ "hey there baby" and a very sketchy smile and then followed me up to the door and kept his eyes on me while i walked into the building... BLAH!!!! all in the same day... a person can only take soooo much sketchiness before having a total and complete break down and totally freak... which is why i left the apt and have been in stur w/ the parentals for the last 5 days... when alone, the only female and the youngester person living in a building with a bunch of constantly drunk old 40+ guys who sit out in the front drinking all day... not exactly feeling that comfortable living alone right at the moment... few comments here and there i guess i could live with but that last one just really got to me... waiting for that feeling to pass as well as my comp to arrive b4 i go back up to the apt... thinking mid week next week... we'll see...
but anyway.. other than that nothing too evil has happened.. LOL! unless u considered torture from the parents and complete harrassment... but they make life interesting... although my mom can def throw out a few things that can confuse the crap outta someone... LOL! watched the family stone with her.. toatlly loved the movie and couldnt get over the fact that diane keeton's character IS my mom... LOL! if u throw her in my big fat greek wedding u'll get the complete package... hehehehe... even the comments, jokes, harrassment, and actions where her....
on another note i'm hoping to get some work finally lined up... hehehe =oD... not sure if i want a part time job during the school year since 1. not sure of hw load, 2. not sure of dance schedule, 3. not sure of work sched in relationship to school, dance, and commuting... so i'm applying to a few catering services so that i can pick up jobs here and there and make at least some money... will be nice change since u work all kinds of events... i can do both wait staff and bartending... will get some experience making drinks.. can do both big events and home parties and such... and i can pick and choose when i want to work and things like that... figure be the best/easiest way to get some extra $$ on the side and not get totally stressed with everything else... so i'm excited about that...
and i guess theres one other thing thats really been going thru my head lately that i'm not quite sure how much i want to type out right now... LOL! i've had so much going thru my head regarding this specific thing that i actually did the most girlie thing and started doing something that i've never done before... i used to use lj and things like this to get out these thoughts and feelings but at the moment theres just so much going thru my head that i need to work out everything and get it on paper so that i can sort thru things that much easier... work out whatever thoughts i need to before getting it out into the open... and i've been struggling with this thing for a little while now... nerves have been getting the best of me and kinda scaring me a little... i keep getting told that i shouldnt be scared... and that if everything is right than i need to take that chance... hehehe.. me and chances right??? LOL! although i have no admit the last time i took a chance like this things seemed to turn out pretty good. hehehe... i shouldnt be freaked out about it but at the same time i totally am... never been thru this quite in this way b4...never had these thoughts like this... never worried or had that stuff mean what it means to me now... so i guess my worry is just the waiting to see what happens... and yet i know that i have to take this leap... or at least thats how it feels... i've taken a chance on everything else why should i be so worried now??? LOL! wait i know the answer to that one... hehehe.. but i'm not going to say it... =oP... must be said in the right way... and as i'm sitting here writing this... and thinking about everything... and thinking about what all i wrote for myself to consider.... and the things that have made me get to this point... i know that there is no way to explain it.. and that because of this there is no turning back for me... i just wonder what that really means... =o/.... hehehe.. and according to my girl "it always happens at the beach"... LOL! i def cant argue there... but yeah... must go b4 thoughts get the best of me and this thing goes on forever...
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[25 Jul 2006|12:23pm] |
not really finished with these thoughts but have to shut down comp so heres a shortish post until i can finish...
( weekend... )
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| finally a post |
[11 Jul 2006|03:30am] |
ok so minus this morning and the not so expected phone call the day has gone very well... in all honesty i actually wrote this post once before and accidentally lost all that i wrote... and yet i have a feeling thats a better thing... LOL! unneeded/wanted rant which has now been let out and lost into the abyss of the wide web... so i'll skip over the few moments of unpleasantness and skip right to the good points of the day...
( so here's the day... )
but anyway... i dont even know where i was before that.. and theres no point in trying to remember and get back to it.. hehehe... so i'm moving on and that would mean i'm heading to bed... so goodnight all... great day/night and nice memories to have before crashing... peace all...
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| Boston International Film Festival - closing night information |
[13 Jun 2006|11:28am] |
hey everyone!!
i just wanted to let you all know that i started a group for the Boston International Film Festival. we are actually right in the middle of the 4th annual festival. its going great. i wanted to open the invitation to all of you who are interested in film making, or who are just interested in the indie world of film in general. its a fantastic festival and everyone who works it is great.
we are actually working on getting ready for the closing night event. its a Danny Glover film called 'Missing in America'. i actually havent seen the film yet, but i've heard very good things about it. we are having the screening with a short that goes just before the feature titled 'Of My God'. its open invitations to the public to attend. the screening is Thursday June 15 at 5:45pm at the Lowes Boston Common. There is an After Party which information will be given out at the end of the screening. Tickets Cost $15 for just the screening, or $35 for both the screening and the party.
if you are interested to attend you can pick up tickets the day of the event. we are expecting to have the producer of the film, as well as the young female star with us for the closing event. so it should be a lot of fun. hope you all can attend!
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if anyone would like to join the group, the link is:
http://groups.myspace.com/biFilmFestival
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| quick fest update |
[10 Jun 2006|12:04am] |
ok so film fest is going pretty crazy. been one wild night after another... LOL! opening night screening w/ a db run and a mango margarita.. hehehe... thurs nite w/ the db screening and q&a. omg!!! so awesome.. cant wait to see how the pics taken by fest "photographers" turn out... LOL! and then 2night w/ the 'hot tamale' screening and red carpet even... i'm not going to go into details about these thigns right now cuz i know that if i do i'll start to rant about the bad and craziness of the fest vs the great and amazing.. LOL! still irritated bout the last few days but should be ok.. LOL! gonna try and get a lil bit of sleep 2night b4 auditions 2morrow... but here are a few pics i had taken w/ my camera from the fest so far..
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| an attempted update... |
[06 Jun 2006|12:42pm] |
so day is the last day before the big festival starts, yet it is the last big pitch of events. LOL! ths pick up start 2night at 10pm and continue thru tomorrow before the red carpet event. =oD... its weird not going home for the next 6 days, but hey it's going to be fun. at least this way i'll be able to get out and about in boston a bit and hope to learn a few things about the city... =oP... make a few new friends, work the fest, hit up a few parties, and hit the town... LOL! wow i really do feel like samantha at the moment... so many 'sex and the city' quotes are running thru my head right now thinking bout being in the city and having my "girls" around me.. LOL! although its not so much "my girls" but it is some girls and the rest of the city... LOL! aaahhhhh ok i'm totally starting to freak out right now and i dont even know where to being...
but anyway on another note i went for an "audition" at boston casting yesterday. wasnt so much an audition but just spending a few hrs sitting in their "lobby", which was actually the building hallway filled with benches.. and then got a polaroid taken. LOL! oh yes i went to a casting agency to see if i could get a part as a stand-in or photo double for what turned out to be the new disney film thats being shot in boston this summer... LOL! i was told i was too tall for the job even though i told her my height over the phone when i called to make the appointment, but she said they might be extras for some of the scenes and they'd keep my info.. LOL! so yeah thats that... hehehe
on top of that i have a huge audition coming up on saturday morning at 8am and i'm totally going to hav issues getting up that early and trying to do all that stuff that early. but hey its all good.. LOL! as soon as boston is over for me on the 11th i'm off to nantucket on the 12th til the 19/20ish and then i'm free... hehehe.. =oD
my mom mentioned going to jersey with her in mid-july hehehe... and her additional comments to that were quite amusing but i'm going to leave it at that... hehehe... those of u who know my mom can imagine what she may have said... =o/.. heheheh... talk about her being sneeky... LOL! i guess its her that i get mine from. but anyway g2 get back to work at the office... more to come when i have access again to the comps...
peace all
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| please tell me if you think i'm crazy |
[03 Jun 2006|10:27pm] |
hehehhee. yeah i'm being totally ambitious this summer. LOL!
so i was sitting in north station waiting for the train and happened to sit across from a poster. i think i staired at it for a total of about 20 minutes before i decided i was going to at least find out what it was all about. but as of 5 minutes ago i have my audition application filled out with my resume and headshot all set to go. LOL! yeah i know its a week away and i'm already set to go. just now have to find out what i'm going to wear so i dont look like a complete freak compared to all the tall skinny women i'll be auditioning with. LOL! attempt for flatering since i know i'm not in the best shape for what i'm going to be trying.
i guess i should just come out with it already. LOL! the poster was for the new celtics dance team for the 06-07 season and i'm going to try out. hehehehe... yay. LOL! i donno how much hope i really have. i'm def on the short side. and not exactly the skinniest person for the job. but hey. its worth a shot to see what happens and if anything comes out of it thats great and i'll go from there.. LOL! i'll just keep my fingers crossed and do my best and just wait to see what happens.. LOL! it'll at least give me a good jump start with auditions since i'll be having another big one sometime coming up.. LOL!
but yeah so thats all i have to say right at the moment. nothing else is really new. but yeah. i g2g for now. peace all... =oD
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| LOL! so weird... sorry i'm a total dork |
[02 Jun 2006|10:48pm] |
ok.. so my last few visits in boston have been quite interesting. today i felt like i was in an episode of 'sex and the city'... LOL! i couldnt keep samantha outta my head as i walked down the streets of boston...
"seamen straight ahead ladies"
LOL! oh yes... there were sailors, air force, and army all over the place. i donno why they were there or for what. but it was weird. walking down the street seeing groups of sailors taking random photos of the city and an air force recruit truck sitting on a corner.. and then a ton of army guys walking around. but it was the sea legs that got me.. LOL! no i didnt pull a samantha and check them out as they walked down the street. i was lacking my carrie, miranda, and charlotte so if that was going to take place i needed my other sex in the city ladies.. LOL! but of course my mr. big is out in the big apple and i really have no need to be checking out any sailors... but it was just very amusing that that was what was going thru my head as i walked down to work today.
secondly, about 2 weeks ago i got back into reading my vamp series and i've gotten much further into the series than i was just a short while ago. hehehehe.. and the most interesting thing is that not 2day, but during my last trip into boston while i was riding the subway i couldn't help thinking of the characters in my book. on my trip into the city i saw the perfect guy to play shang-da. heheheh... tall chinaman.. heheheh... with spikey hair and totaly built... LOL! its crazy... and then... on the trip outta the city i saw the perfect jamile. hehehehe... oh craziness. great hair beautiful body... hehehe... oh yes... go anita... LOL! ok i cant help but do this... talking about, thinking about, reading anita makes me think of someone.. hehehe... i know they arent exactly the same person, but this part of the book that i'm reading right now just totally made me miss him that much more..
( blue moon... )
hehehehe... yeah yeah i know... trashy novel but what can i say.. LOL! anita and richard make me happy.. hehehe... richard makes me very happy =oD... heheheh.. those of you who know the series know what i'm talking about.. ;o)... hehehehe
but yeah so anyway. LOL! yeah i'm a dork and i'm going to leave it at that... more updates to come... peace all
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| an small update |
[29 May 2006|11:00pm] |
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ok so its almost the end of may and i dont even know where my train of thought is at for the moment...
this last week/weekend/few days have been kinda all over the place... with the weather absolutely amazing, nothing has really been planned and everything had kinda just gone my spur of the moment decisions. all i know is that i have come to some very crazy realizations as to what i'd like to do for the summer as well as gave myself a few goals for the next few months as well as next year.
goals include:
1. toning up over the summer
2. possibly getting in good enough shape that i'll be able to get a new piercing (a little far fetched but hey its def a thought)
3. spending some time in the sun for i'm not a ghost... LOL! yeah i know not really a tough goal but if u've seen how white i am u'd realize the challenge
4. keep up with tae bo work outs and try to get in on some pick-up hockey (*crosses fingers and hopes doesnt kill self*)
5. choreograph 2 dances by end of summer(solo and small group lyric) for next years dance club show
6. start getting in physical, flexible, and proper dance shape for potential audition next summer in hopes to make it past first 2 cuts..
7. keep good eating habits and work outs over skool year so i dont get back outta shape
LOL! yeah thats kinda all over the place. but there are def a few i will get done and i hope to get em all. #6 is kinda a big goal i have cuz i've set my mind to it and i'm going for the audition in NY next summer. i'm not going to back out and if i hope to get past the first cut.. let alone the 2nd cut i have to start working my ass off.. *crosses fingers*.. and in all honesty i dont care where the auditions take me, whether they end on the first day or further down the line.. i'd just like to see how far i can take it.. hehehe... stupid tv show but hey... its something worth working towards.. LOL!
ok so outside of that... i was very happy i was able to spend some time with my guy yesterday and part of 2day. i still cant believe he's leaving on friday. such a crazy thought... but it was nice to hang out. we went and saw x3 (which totally bombed btw).. was disappointed with it completely. enjoyed the company but that was about it. i could go on for quite a while about that but i'm going to leave it at that for now... madd tired and brain is starting to wonder into crazy thoughts which will just cause me to rant and rave for who knows how long and i dont feel like doing that much 2night... in too good of a mood for that... LOL! craziness i know
well festival is coming up quickly. not sure what to expect. have about 1 week left and then its busy busy busy from the 7 to the 18... LOL! crazy film festivals. i'm def looking forward to seeing how everything turns out. will be most interesting. but anyway. more to come about the festival happenings. but g2 crash so i can make early train 2morrow. peace all. hope ur enjoying the great weather.
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| school is out for summer... |
[18 May 2006|01:17am] |
so today kick started the beginning of summer break... and it couldnt have started off better...
( first of all... )
so at the moment that is my summer plans and just a quick note on how things have started... hehehe... more updates to come... peace
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| long time no say |
[01 May 2006|11:34am] |
ok so its the first of may... we have technically 2 weeks left of school, including finals and then we are out for summer... =o)... hehehe... and its been forever since i've written anything and so much has happened... and so many unanswered questions that have come up that i wish didnt keep coming up... LOL! i always seem to screw with myself and make things go from bad to worse when everything is going so great. but anyway....
( here's the story )
bye-bye
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| high school |
[21 Apr 2006|09:21am] |
Your senior year in High School is supposed to be one of "the best year of your life." Let's see how much you remember.
Year: 2004
1. Who was your best friend? sean marino
2. What sports did you play? ice hockey but not for the wschool
3. What kind of car did you drive? 1998 subaru forrester
4. It's Friday night, where were you? worked and then skated til 1am
5. Were you a party animal? nope...
6. Were you in the "In Crowd"? hell no
7. Ever skip school? all the time... as well as just ditched 1/2 way thru the day
8. Ever smoke? nope
9. Were you a nerd? eh.. in some aspects
10. Suspended? nope
11. Can you sing the Alma Mater? huh?
12. Who was your favorite teacher? mr bansak, mr randall, mr anderson, mr maccio, mr ventimilia,
13. Favorite class? all math classes, american cinema, drama
14. What was your school's full name? tantasqua regional vocational senior high school
15. School mascot? warrior
16. Did you go to the prom? yeah
17. If you could go back and do it over, would you chill with old friends?yes
18. What do you remember most about graduation? the crazy events that lead up to the ceremony....
19. Favorite memory of your Senior Year? i hated senior yr
20. Were you ever posted up on the senior wall? what is that exactly???
21. Did you have a job your senior year? coaching hockey and starbucks
22. Who did you date? paul cappo
23. Where did you go most often for lunch? cafeteria
24. Have you gained weight since then? ...??? possibly
25. What did you do after graduation? went home and slept
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| its been forever |
[26 Mar 2006|05:14pm] |
ok so here's the news... LOL!
spring break spent in kali... had a blast... although there were times that i couldnt stop thinking about certain people back here... LOL! it was torture being 3000 some odd miles away from the people i've been friends with for the past 9 yrs and trying to be civil with people i havent seen/heard from/talked w/had any sort of communication in 6-11 yrs... LOL! o yes... i got in touch and spent several days with someone whom i havent seen or had any communication with since i was like 11. thats just crazy. but it was fun... i was able to work while i was out there and i had soooo much fun. it makes me want to get serious about coaching... only problem was that it was in-line which i have no idea how to realyl do and had no idea how to stop... so first hr coaching what do i do... i challenge the smart asses on the floor to a race cuz if it was any other surface i knew i'd b able to beat them and not be tired once getting down to the other end... but o no... i get 1/2 way down the floor sprinting full speed when i remember that i have no idea how to stop... LOL! o yes... so next best thing is to bail and fall and hope that the burns and bruises i'd get wouldnt hurt tooo badly... LOL! so yeah. i had a welt that covered my entire knee and a burn down my left arm... LOL! it was pretty damn funny... but other than that everything was amazing.. the adult session was fantastic and everything went really well... i've never really ran my own clinic or anything... its always been through dillon and his "people" there... but it was all me and it went really well... i was really happy about how things turned out... and i've been asked to go back and coach whenever i go out to cali... so thats really exciting...
other than that my time w/ chris was interesting... LOL! some drunken texting at a bar to mcdreamy back home... a little stumbling around after some light drinking which did me in for the night while listening to a cover bad w/ guys from the rink... LOL! tenacious d is awesome!!!! and of course some beach visits... the "spot"... and a little drag racing... LOL! i jsut hope he doesnt expect to get away w/ his driving skills when he comes back here... LOL! that would just be bad... but anyway... o... and lets not forget the pizza crust story w/ the original captin sparrow the seagull... LOL! only the best thing ever...
after that i spent a few days w/ my grandmother and cousin whom i havent seen in about 7+ years... and then some time w/ my bro... LOL! i love my bro to death but there are just some things that u dont wanna know about ur siblings... LOL! but it was nice hanging w/ him for a few days... spent some time in SF.. got to experience the jagger bottle guy... as well as the captain sparrow pigeon... LOL! and then after that went to see v for vendeta which was absolutely amazing and everyone should go see it... and thne ultraviolet which sucked and should have walked out a lot earlier than we did... LOL! it could have had such potential... but man did it crash and burn... LOL!
after that i returned home which i was very excited about... i was so glad to get back and be able to actually see mcdreamy vs. just talking with him a little here and there while i was in kali... and things there have been really really good... its been a long time since i've been this happy bout a guy... =oD... everything has been so insane w/ him... it fells like something that would only happen in a fairy tale or in some chick flick... LOL! its funny to think about it that way especially since my cousin had said something about that while i was hanging out w/ her in kali... LOL! how things like this dont happen in real life... and that she figured that the next time she met a guy she'd pull a chick flick move and see if it happened like it does in the movies... LOL! but anyway... all joking aside now... but yeah... so that area has been great... and as of yesterday i can now officially say that i'm going out w/ mcdreamy... =oD... hehehehe... i'm sooo happy right now and its just soo much fun being w/ him.. we went out skating the other day and then to a mexican restaurant and then just spent the rest of the night together... everything was just so perfect and i was just so happy with everything... LOL! i still cant believe its happened though... but yeah so anyway...
so yeah i'm gonna end this b4 i totally start spazing out... LOL! g2 get abck to hw anyway... so yeah... peace all...
( taken from tricia... ;o)... )
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| blah... but a post |
[16 Mar 2006|01:27pm] |
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mood |
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so i'm sitting here in sunny cali and freaking out cuz i have no idea what to do... LOL! i mean so much has happened in the last week or so and right now i feel like i'm just sitting on train tracks waiting for a train to come a run me over... yeah that doesnt sound very pleasant but its the truth... i mean with all thats happened w/ mcdreamy over the last week things have just seemed to hit me all at once... but anyway... and right now i'm sitting on my bros couch waiting for him to get up so taht i can figure out whats going on... and i keep getting calls from chris and its starting to drive me nuts. and the sun is shinning and the sky is bright blue and its hot!!! ideas of the beach are dancing in my head like sugar plum fairies... LOL! so sorry... but its the truth... i've been teased w/ pictures and convos about the beach and how hots its been back here and now i'm here and i was just told that i may end up spending part of the day in santa cruz for a bit as i drive back down south a bit... AAAAHHHHHHHH!!! i just wish the boardwalk was open and the big dipper was running... that would just be absolutely amazing...
ok.. so now its past that time... i've been down to hollister... got my ass handed to me playing roller hockey... got trashed at a bad after drinking almost nothing... and then spent a few days at my grandmothers... i've never been to hollister and never really hung out with chris... he was always the one guy from my youth that i wondered about... what happened to him.. where he went... how he was doing... was he still skating... things like that... and it was insane... LOL! i never thought that after 10 years of no communication... and only really being in touch at the rink... and it being 5th/6th grade and being a "little kid" (not like i've grown since then or anything.. ;o)...) and everything that was kinda left unsaid between us it was just insane being around him again... but everything has changed... i got in touch with chris just before mcdream n i started really talking and long before anything else happened between us... and i remember thinking holy shit its chris and i still have the same feelings for him and its like nothing has changed and i wish i knew how to act around him and i hope i dont act like a total spaz since right now i feel like i did back in 5th grade when i first met him and just like i did when we shared our first kiss... it was an insane feeling... but it seemed that all of the weirdness just went away... yeah i felt goofy around him... but my concerns werent on "oh shit i hope he doesnt realize i never got over him completely..." my thoughts were more along the lines of "wow its been 10 years and the friendship is awesome and amazing but i know that once i get back home i'll be happy w/ mcdreamy... i've yet to stop thinking about him the whole time i've been out here and i just cant wait to get abck and see him... its insane... it feels like torture being able to talk to him and think about being with him and yet knowing that he's 3000 miles away... its insane and i hope i can make it to sunday b4 i totally snap... but anyway...
i have so much more to write about but i'm leaving for the city w/ my bro... hope to have some time to write more later... so much is bottled up right now that i'm not sure what to share and get out in the open... but anyway... gonna enjoy sunny kali... peace
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| hopes of a nice change... |
[24 Feb 2006|11:26pm] |
so i spent most of the morning down in warwick w/ my dad checking out a school that i'm most likely going to be transfering to. i'm totally syched... =oD... no more fluff classes. its a tech school so its going to be the good the bad and the ugly of video and radio production. hehehe...
on top of that i've had a pretty good week. i've had a few changes as far as poor routines that i was in go through a full 360 thanx to my mcdreamy... yes that is what im calling him. LOL! he's not the real mcdreamy but he stands a very good chance.. LOL! but anyway. and the thing that i love is that i got a call from chris a few hours ago and he could actually hear the change in my voice. i'm shocked that i was able to get as much out into the open when i was talking w/ mcdreamy last night, but in all honesty its helped a lot. i'm totally greatful for that. i'm just now a little leery cuz i got a text w/ "sweetie" in it and i'm not sure where it came from... grrrr.. LOL! over thinking now... but i'm in a great mood and i cant wait to get out to cali and just chill for a week w/ friends and family. life is starting to look up once again. i'll just continue to keep my fingers crossed when it comes to the new people in my life... =o)
short and sweet... and kinda random... but its been a long time and i felt i was a little over due...
peace
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