Neither love nor evil conquers all, but evil cheats more.

please help

2006-08-26T01:26:30Z

so i'm sitting here totally stressing out. i shouldnt b but i am. i just got an email regarding a film that is being shot in boston that was postponed that it has been rescheduled for oct and 1 day in nov... its bout 9 days of shooting, 7 of which i'd have to skip classes to go to... in all honesty i really want to do this... think it would be fun and kinda be something different and mayb even give me opps for later... but the fact that i'd be missing classes a few days a week for about 3 weeks... i just dont know what to do... and the casting call is the 9th and i'm trying to figure out whether or not to do it... if anyone has any advice or anything please let me know... would appriciate any input from anyone cuz i cant figure out what to do....

thoughts

2006-08-04T20:18:29Z

so i'm sitting in my room going over things/thought from the last few days... a little bugged out by a few thigns that have happened, confused by a few others, excited about a few more, and interested to see how the rest turn out...

first of all im just going to throw this thought out into the cyber world... is there a hand book for "proper behavior of truck drivers" that many of them follow??? i mean where do they get off thinking that females like it when they get hit on by them??? who gave them the idea that it is cool/ok for them to blow kisses and yell crude comments out their windows??? i mean i guess a smile, nodd, wave, honk isnt all that bad.. had my share of "chasing" down a truck driver while driving to senior prom w/ my ladies... but old, fat, balding or bone skinny, balding, w/ missing/roting teeth and doing that shit is just... sketchy!!! and the worst part was i was driving to from home to the apt, and then to the dentist (another hour in a diff direction)... and there was a line of em each way doing it... EEEWWWWWW!! and its not like i dress like a slut and go out "asking for that"... i clothes on that covered me... my windows were down and my music was blaring... but they still felt the urge to yell out various things... not to mention the creepy old drunk black guy that lives in my building who greeted me w/ "hey there baby" and a very sketchy smile and then followed me up to the door and kept his eyes on me while i walked into the building... BLAH!!!! all in the same day... a person can only take soooo much sketchiness before having a total and complete break down and totally freak... which is why i left the apt and have been in stur w/ the parentals for the last 5 days... when alone, the only female and the youngester person living in a building with a bunch of constantly drunk old 40+ guys who sit out in the front drinking all day... not exactly feeling that comfortable living alone right at the moment... few comments here and there i guess i could live with but that last one just really got to me... waiting for that feeling to pass as well as my comp to arrive b4 i go back up to the apt... thinking mid week next week... we'll see...

but anyway.. other than that nothing too evil has happened.. LOL! unless u considered torture from the parents and complete harrassment... but they make life interesting... although my mom can def throw out a few things that can confuse the crap outta someone... LOL! watched the family stone with her.. toatlly loved the movie and couldnt get over the fact that diane keeton's character IS my mom... LOL! if u throw her in my big fat greek wedding u'll get the complete package... hehehehe... even the comments, jokes, harrassment, and actions where her....

on another note i'm hoping to get some work finally lined up... hehehe =oD... not sure if i want a part time job during the school year since 1. not sure of hw load, 2. not sure of dance schedule, 3. not sure of work sched in relationship to school, dance, and commuting... so i'm applying to a few catering services so that i can pick up jobs here and there and make at least some money... will be nice change since u work all kinds of events... i can do both wait staff and bartending... will get some experience making drinks.. can do both big events and home parties and such... and i can pick and choose when i want to work and things like that... figure be the best/easiest way to get some extra $$ on the side and not get totally stressed with everything else... so i'm excited about that...

and i guess theres one other thing thats really been going thru my head lately that i'm not quite sure how much i want to type out right now... LOL! i've had so much going thru my head regarding this specific thing that i actually did the most girlie thing and started doing something that i've never done before... i used to use lj and things like this to get out these thoughts and feelings but at the moment theres just so much going thru my head that i need to work out everything and get it on paper so that i can sort thru things that much easier... work out whatever thoughts i need to before getting it out into the open... and i've been struggling with this thing for a little while now... nerves have been getting the best of me and kinda scaring me a little... i keep getting told that i shouldnt be scared... and that if everything is right than i need to take that chance... hehehe.. me and chances right??? LOL! although i have no admit the last time i took a chance like this things seemed to turn out pretty good. hehehe... i shouldnt be freaked out about it but at the same time i totally am... never been thru this quite in this way b4...never had these thoughts like this... never worried or had that stuff mean what it means to me now... so i guess my worry is just the waiting to see what happens... and yet i know that i have to take this leap... or at least thats how it feels... i've taken a chance on everything else why should i be so worried now??? LOL! wait i know the answer to that one... hehehe.. but i'm not going to say it... =oP... must be said in the right way... and as i'm sitting here writing this... and thinking about everything... and thinking about what all i wrote for myself to consider.... and the things that have made me get to this point... i know that there is no way to explain it.. and that because of this there is no turning back for me... i just wonder what that really means... =o/.... hehehe.. and according to my girl "it always happens at the beach"... LOL! i def cant argue there... but yeah... must go b4 thoughts get the best of me and this thing goes on forever...

necroticfreak13 @ 2006-07-25T12:23:00

2006-07-25T16:25:01Z

not really finished with these thoughts but have to shut down comp so heres a shortish post until i can finish...

ok so i just got home from the most amazing 24 hrs... outside of being my dorky self and driving almost into RI when i knew i had to be closer to boston and even though i was very nervous at first i had never felt so welcomed in an all around sense. it was nice to see the family members that i had met when i first went over for easter, but the addition of my guys mom and siblings and stepfather was something totally different. LOL! i dont know what it is about meeting the parents of others but i turn into a total nervous wreck, and when i first got there i just hoped that it wouldnt show how nervous i was... hehehe... and they were so nice.

my family is similar to his in a lot of ways with how they interact with each other at get togethers, the only thing that i was able to experience that i never would have with my family was that they actually "play" with each other. it was so much fun when the football was pulled out and a good group of us all started throwing the ball around... hehehe. i cant help thinking about so much that has happened in the last couple of days... so i guess i'll go back a little before i get to the point.. LOL!

ok so after getting back from ny visiting my guy i have been a complete mess when it comes to thoughts and feelings... hehehe... not a mess in a bad way... although i guess that could be debatible when over the last few weeks i've been watching a ton of chick flicks (which is what i'm going to blame my continuous nightmares over the last week on)... and yet the most interesting part of it all is coming to a realization of something that i still havent really been able to say yet... i'm just so nervous because i've never felt like this before... i had thoughts in the past and was very mistake, but in all honesty i have never experienced anything like what has been going thru my head and how i've been feeling over the last few weeks ever before... i'm just nervous in the sense that i'm not sure how it will be taken... but time will tell... LOL! i was told by a friend that there is nothing to be nervous for and that if that is truly how i feel that i just have to take that chance... LOL! me and chances... hehehe... i wish i had taken than leap... i wanted to so bad... but there is just one thing that keeps be holding back a little... but i can no longer use that excuse in just a short time so once that happens i'm just going to have to go for it and just see what happens... i've taken a chance once before and never regreted that for a second... hehehhee... i wouldnt regret this chance at all... no matter when i take it because it is the truth whether it comes out not or later... i just need to "man up" to everything thats been going thru my head and take that leap... LOL! but anyway

so i've been a mess about that over the last few weeks... and within the last 5 or so days something else started getting to me.. why this started i dont know for sure... could be lack of sleep... could be stress... could be any number of things... but i've been having nightmares for some reason... i havent had them in a long time... or at least not to the point at which i was able to remember them.. and i havent had one in which death was a recuring theme in them for more than 2 days in a row since i was in about 3rd/4th grade... i dont know where or why they have come back... and last night was the first night i went without waking up to a dream like that... i know a few months ago i kept telling myself that i wished that after a horror movie that they would get to me and it would cause me to have a bad dream... but that was when i was watching scary movies... i havent seen one since i said that... and i'm thinking that my craving for horror is starting to get to me... either that or my constant chick flicks is starting to really get to me and causing me to dream about blood, guts, and gore... LOL! not exactly the normal girly thoughts after a romantic comedy... but i guess thats just me n all my weirdness... but anyway

and then a few days back i was invited to a cook out... totally excited cuz i would be able to see my guy b4 he went back to ny to finish out his internship... and then the realization of what that might mean in regards to who would be there started to play with my nerves.. hehehe... i was totally nervous to meet his mom and siblings and everything... i've heard quite a bit about his sister, but was totally impressed when i met her and started to get to know her a little better and saw her drawings.. holy crap that girl can draw.. LOL!

finally a post

2006-07-11T07:35:14Z

ok so minus this morning and the not so expected phone call the day has gone very well... in all honesty i actually wrote this post once before and accidentally lost all that i wrote... and yet i have a feeling thats a better thing... LOL! unneeded/wanted rant which has now been let out and lost into the abyss of the wide web... so i'll skip over the few moments of unpleasantness and skip right to the good points of the day...

well 1st off i've def been doing much better with a few of my goals.. still struggling pretty badly but at least i've been eatting better over the last few days, and i've done my tae boe each day. is a slow start.. but at least its a start. before leaving and heading out to my bartending classes i decided to burn about a dozen cds so that i could have a good variety of new music to listen to while i was out and about. that made me very happy. the music was awesome and they were new tunes. still sad that my ipod isnt working but at least i was able to have some good tunes to jam to.

i think the high light of my night was the drive home. it was an amazing night... but before i get to that i just have to share a little bit of info that i learned/heard during my class 2night. hehehe i'm a total dork for finding these as amusing as i do, but what can i say. they have def made the info stick in my head very quickly.

so we started out 2night by going thru the basic bar station set up and tools and things like that. but once we got into making the drinks i think i had a little too much fun listening to the mnemonics that were given to use to help us remember what goes into the drinks... but for those of u who had a science teacher to who taught the whole "My Very Educated Mother Just Stiirred Us Nine Pies" thing should be able to kinda pick up on what it is that i'm about to share with u... hehehe... these are just a few of the mnemonics that we were told...

a kamikaze is a Very Tragic Landing
Very Rich People live in hollywood
after a kamikaze there were Very Mad People in pearl harbor
Very Pretty Chicks make guys go woo woo
Very Pretty Ocean Chicks have sex on the beach

the last 2 i found very amusing and couldnt help but laugh. i know i'm lame but hey.. LOL! it helps one to remember... just like Very Good Regulars Tip Triple-ly is for the liquors in the speed rack, as well as the ones used in a long island ice tea. hehehe... oh yea... =oD

but anyway back to my drive home... hehehe... after the class i was totally excited. the class had gone well it was late and i had music that i could play very load. the weather was nice so i could have my windows down. and as i looked at the sky before jumping in the car i noticed something i havent seen/noticed in awhile... tonight was a red harvest moon. the only thing that could have made the night even better was if it had been closer and looked much larger. the last time i remember actually seeing one was a few years ago on halloween. it was absolutely amazing.. and when i saw it i couldnt help thinking back to that... the moon looked so big and it was just so amazing. the stars were out cuz there were no clouds in the sky and it just made the whole feel of halloween that much better... hehhee... i was able to see a few stars in the sky between the patches of clouds 2night... and at one point i did see mars... but it was the moon that kept catching my attention.. hehehe... it was just amazing... and the thing that i love most about late night drives on a night like tonight is the fact that if it is last enough u can drive as fast as u like with no problem... hehehe... i knew the roads i was on pretty well and know where the speed traps are and where cops like to hang out so i was able to cruise the night just the way i like with no worries... hehehe.. now that i think about it it makes me miss a few of my friends. people i havent seen/hung out with in a long time. i miss the late night hockey games in marlboro and then racing "big truck matt" down 290 at 1130 at night... hehehe... i miss driving around with sammie and mattie after a game, blaring 99 red balloons and life of the rich and famous as i attempt to push btw 95 and 110... hehehe... now those were some good times... LOL! some of u might think i'm nuts but it was fun... i hated almost everything about high school, but those memories during the last month of school and during the summer were what made up for all of the bull shit that happened during the year... i miss being able to pile in a group of friends and race down 20 into worcester to catch an ice cats game... hehehe... i miss throwing halloween parties and having some sort of celebration with friends... LOL! i never cared much for celebrating my bday but i have to admit... those were some of the funest times i'd had during those years... getting together a group of friends and treating them to an ice cats game and them staying up all night playing games, pool, or watching movies... LOL! i miss renting out ice and playing broom hockey, sneaker hockey, and ice hockey for an hour and then getting to spend the rest of the late night/early morning with my buds... LOL! 2am broom hockey and then catching the pike heading into boston... realizing u've gone in the wrong direction and then having to turn around and drive from exit 15 to 9 in 30 min flat... LOL! i'll never forget that car ride with my boys in the car... hehhee... bro behind the wheel laying down and trying to drive cuz he was in so much pain from falling on his ass... hehehe... sitting in the back btw the weirdo and lyons and listening to dimarini going off on random things with my brother... LOL! i miss treating the crew to a few hours of bowling... LOL! watching jesse run the length of the bowling alley just to trip on the floor and slide down the lane with his hand still on the ball... LOL! watching jesse try and get a strick or spare by rolling the ball down someones body and getting to go down the lane... LOL! watching the boys play with nerf guns and attacking eachother with sticky darts while attempting to skate... hehehe... i think i found a few of those darts the last time i was down in the basement actually... LOL! i know i still have the hawiian cups from the grad party back in the day laying around in various parts of the house... hehehe... really should try and clean that up... =o/... LOL! wow... i wasnt expacting all of that to come out but for those of u who have been to those know exactly what it was like and know why i went off on that... LOL! those were good times... hehehe... of course there was that one halloween of streeking... LOL! or should i say partical streeking for some of u... hehehe.. =oP... the "car crash" of houligan and watson.. minh rolling down the hill inside the trash can... the true story as to why m&ms are red... our very interesting game of truth and dare in which there was wrestling in dog poo, licking of body parts, and lets not forget the photo of fitzey mooning the kitchen window and getting far more than we asked for... LOL! and of course the fresh year party where we bacame mango, guave, kiwi, papya, and banana... LOL! truth and dare in the basement with the hockey boys and watching guava and papya dress in my old dance costumes... seeing mango in my "baby duck" tootoo and a russian hat... LOL! wow... i'd almost forgotten about that... hehehe... its been far too long since i've seen/hung out with the old crew... and as sad as it is i dont think i'll ever see them again... its been 4 years since i've talked to most of them... some have been away longer... those were some good times though... i'm glad that my train of thought went there... its been along times since i've thought about any of that... and its nice to know that its now written/typed out for me to look back at... i hope there are some of u who know of these events can/will read this and be able to enjoy the memories like i just did... hehehe...

but anyway... i dont even know where i was before that.. and theres no point in trying to remember and get back to it.. hehehe... so i'm moving on and that would mean i'm heading to bed... so goodnight all... great day/night and nice memories to have before crashing... peace all...

Boston International Film Festival - closing night information

2006-06-13T15:28:55Z

hey everyone!!

i just wanted to let you all know that i started a group for the Boston International Film Festival. we are actually right in the middle of the 4th annual festival. its going great. i wanted to open the invitation to all of you who are interested in film making, or who are just interested in the indie world of film in general. its a fantastic festival and everyone who works it is great.

we are actually working on getting ready for the closing night event. its a Danny Glover film called 'Missing in America'. i actually havent seen the film yet, but i've heard very good things about it. we are having the screening with a short that goes just before the feature titled 'Of My God'. its open invitations to the public to attend. the screening is Thursday June 15 at 5:45pm at the Lowes Boston Common. There is an After Party which information will be given out at the end of the screening. Tickets Cost $15 for just the screening, or $35 for both the screening and the party.

if you are interested to attend you can pick up tickets the day of the event. we are expecting to have the producer of the film, as well as the young female star with us for the closing event. so it should be a lot of fun. hope you all can attend!

_____________________________________________________

if anyone would like to join the group, the link is:

http://groups.myspace.com/biFilmFestival

quick fest update

2006-06-10T04:10:37Z

ok so film fest is going pretty crazy. been one wild night after another... LOL! opening night screening w/ a db run and a mango margarita.. hehehe... thurs nite w/ the db screening and q&a. omg!!! so awesome.. cant wait to see how the pics taken by fest "photographers" turn out... LOL! and then 2night w/ the 'hot tamale' screening and red carpet even... i'm not going to go into details about these thigns right now cuz i know that if i do i'll start to rant about the bad and craziness of the fest vs the great and amazing.. LOL! still irritated bout the last few days but should be ok.. LOL! gonna try and get a lil bit of sleep 2night b4 auditions 2morrow... but here are a few pics i had taken w/ my camera from the fest so far..

an attempted update...

2006-06-06T16:58:22Z

so day is the last day before the big festival starts, yet it is the last big pitch of events. LOL! ths pick up start 2night at 10pm and continue thru tomorrow before the red carpet event. =oD... its weird not going home for the next 6 days, but hey it's going to be fun. at least this way i'll be able to get out and about in boston a bit and hope to learn a few things about the city... =oP... make a few new friends, work the fest, hit up a few parties, and hit the town... LOL! wow i really do feel like samantha at the moment... so many 'sex and the city' quotes are running thru my head right now thinking bout being in the city and having my "girls" around me.. LOL! although its not so much "my girls" but it is some girls and the rest of the city... LOL! aaahhhhh ok i'm totally starting to freak out right now and i dont even know where to being...

but anyway on another note i went for an "audition" at boston casting yesterday. wasnt so much an audition but just spending a few hrs sitting in their "lobby", which was actually the building hallway filled with benches.. and then got a polaroid taken. LOL! oh yes i went to a casting agency to see if i could get a part as a stand-in or photo double for what turned out to be the new disney film thats being shot in boston this summer... LOL! i was told i was too tall for the job even though i told her my height over the phone when i called to make the appointment, but she said they might be extras for some of the scenes and they'd keep my info.. LOL! so yeah thats that... hehehe

on top of that i have a huge audition coming up on saturday morning at 8am and i'm totally going to hav issues getting up that early and trying to do all that stuff that early. but hey its all good.. LOL! as soon as boston is over for me on the 11th i'm off to nantucket on the 12th til the 19/20ish and then i'm free... hehehe.. =oD

my mom mentioned going to jersey with her in mid-july hehehe... and her additional comments to that were quite amusing but i'm going to leave it at that... hehehe... those of u who know my mom can imagine what she may have said... =o/.. heheheh... talk about her being sneeky... LOL! i guess its her that i get mine from. but anyway g2 get back to work at the office... more to come when i have access again to the comps...

peace all

please tell me if you think i'm crazy

2006-06-04T02:34:32Z

hehehhee. yeah i'm being totally ambitious this summer. LOL!

so i was sitting in north station waiting for the train and happened to sit across from a poster. i think i staired at it for a total of about 20 minutes before i decided i was going to at least find out what it was all about. but as of 5 minutes ago i have my audition application filled out with my resume and headshot all set to go. LOL! yeah i know its a week away and i'm already set to go. just now have to find out what i'm going to wear so i dont look like a complete freak compared to all the tall skinny women i'll be auditioning with. LOL! attempt for flatering since i know i'm not in the best shape for what i'm going to be trying.

i guess i should just come out with it already. LOL! the poster was for the new celtics dance team for the 06-07 season and i'm going to try out. hehehehe... yay. LOL! i donno how much hope i really have. i'm def on the short side. and not exactly the skinniest person for the job. but hey. its worth a shot to see what happens and if anything comes out of it thats great and i'll go from there.. LOL! i'll just keep my fingers crossed and do my best and just wait to see what happens.. LOL! it'll at least give me a good jump start with auditions since i'll be having another big one sometime coming up.. LOL!

but yeah so thats all i have to say right at the moment. nothing else is really new. but yeah. i g2g for now. peace all... =oD

LOL! so weird... sorry i'm a total dork

2006-06-03T03:38:13Z

ok.. so my last few visits in boston have been quite interesting. today i felt like i was in an episode of 'sex and the city'... LOL! i couldnt keep samantha outta my head as i walked down the streets of boston...

"seamen straight ahead ladies"

LOL! oh yes... there were sailors, air force, and army all over the place. i donno why they were there or for what. but it was weird. walking down the street seeing groups of sailors taking random photos of the city and an air force recruit truck sitting on a corner.. and then a ton of army guys walking around. but it was the sea legs that got me.. LOL! no i didnt pull a samantha and check them out as they walked down the street. i was lacking my carrie, miranda, and charlotte so if that was going to take place i needed my other sex in the city ladies.. LOL! but of course my mr. big is out in the big apple and i really have no need to be checking out any sailors... but it was just very amusing that that was what was going thru my head as i walked down to work today.

secondly, about 2 weeks ago i got back into reading my vamp series and i've gotten much further into the series than i was just a short while ago. hehehehe.. and the most interesting thing is that not 2day, but during my last trip into boston while i was riding the subway i couldn't help thinking of the characters in my book. on my trip into the city i saw the perfect guy to play shang-da. heheheh... tall chinaman.. heheheh... with spikey hair and totaly built... LOL! its crazy... and then... on the trip outta the city i saw the perfect jamile. hehehehe... oh craziness. great hair beautiful body... hehehe... oh yes... go anita... LOL! ok i cant help but do this... talking about, thinking about, reading anita makes me think of someone.. hehehe... i know they arent exactly the same person, but this part of the book that i'm reading right now just totally made me miss him that much more..

his tanned flesh howed pale through the black cloth, as if some invisible knife were slashing rips in it. he straightened up. one sleeve had ripped so badly at the shoulder that it flapped around his upper arm. the seams at the top of his chest were like twin smiles.
"I feel a draft," he said. he turned and showed me his back. the shirt had peeled off his back, hanging in tatters.
"it's trashed" i said.
"too much weight lifting since i was measured for the shirt."
"you are perilously close to being too muscular," i said.
"can you ever be too muscular?" he asked.
"yes, you can" i said.
"you dont like it?" he asked. he wadded his hands into the front of the shirt and pulled. the silk tore into black shreds, ripping like a soft scream. he tossed the silk at me. i caught it by reflex, not thinking.
he grabbed what was left of the shirt across his shoulders and pulled it over his head, exposing every inch of his chest, his shoulders. he strained his arms upward, making the muscles mold against his skin from stomach to shoulder.
it didnt just make me catch my breath, it made me catch and hold, forgetting to breathe for a few seconds, so that when i did remember, my breath came out in a shaky gasp. so much for being cool and sophisticated.
he lowered his arms and all that was left were the sleeves. he pulled them off like a stripper removing long gloves and let the bits of silk fall to the ground. he stood looking at me, nude from the waist up.
"am i supposed to applaud or say, 'my my mr zeeman, what big shoulders you have'? i'm aware that you have a great body, richard. you dont have to ruv my face in it."
he moved unto me until he was standing so close that a hard thought would have made us touch. "what a good idea," he said.
i frowned at him, because i wasn't following. "whats a good idea?"
"rubbing your face in my body," he said, his voice so low that is was almost a whisper.
i blushed and hoped he couldnt see it in the dark. "its an expression, richard. you know i didnt mean it."
"i know," he said, "but its still a good idea."
he started to reach out to touch my face, and i almost stumbled backing up.

hehehehe... yeah yeah i know... trashy novel but what can i say.. LOL! anita and richard make me happy.. hehehe... richard makes me very happy =oD... heheheh.. those of you who know the series know what i'm talking about.. ;o)... hehehehe

but yeah so anyway. LOL! yeah i'm a dork and i'm going to leave it at that... more updates to come... peace all

dont mind me

2006-06-01T23:52:22Z

trying to save some new icons...

catching up on some quizes

2006-05-31T00:49:19Z

just a little bored after a very long day of work...

You scored as Rogue. Rogue is a strong but tragic personality. She loves Gambit. Because of her mutant powers, she cannot touch anyone without hurting them. Therefore, she longs for human contact. However, this southern gal's strong personality has allowed her to deal with this. Powers: Absorbs lifeforce and powers by touch, Super strength, and flight

</td>

Rogue

90%

Gambit

80%

Emma Frost

75%

Wolverine

75%

Jean Grey

70%

Storm

70%

Cyclops

65%

Iceman

65%

Colossus

60%

Beast

45%

Nightcrawler

30%

Most Comprehensive X-Men Personality Quiz 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Athletic Tomboy.

</td>

Athletic Tomboy

94%

Goth

75%

Slut

75%

Loser

63%

Hippy

38%

Nerdy Girl

31%

Preppy Girl

You scored as Chains/Handcuffs. Your turn on is handcuffs and chains. You like being cuffed/chained to the bed, or cuffing/chaining your partner down. You love the pure ectasy of being in complete control... or letting someone else have complete control over you. Sex isn't sex without control.

</td>

Chains/Handcuffs

92%

Biting

83%

Bondage

75%

Blind Folds

58%

Whips

50%

Blood

17%

What's Your Kinky Turn On?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Peter Pan. Your alter ego is Peter Pan. You are a child at heart. Anything you believe is possible, and you never want to grow up.

</td>

Goofy

88%

Peter Pan

88%

The Beast

69%

Ariel

56%

Donald Duck

50%

Cinderella

50%

Cruella De Ville

38%

Sleeping Beauty

31%

Snow White

25%

Pinocchio

25%

Which Disney Character is your Alter Ego?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Peter Pan. Your alter ego is Peter Pan. You are a child at heart. Anything you believe is possible, and you never want to grow up.

</td>

Goofy

88%

Peter Pan

88%

The Beast

69%

Ariel

56%

Donald Duck

50%

Cinderella

50%

Cruella De Ville

38%

Sleeping Beauty

31%

Snow White

25%

Pinocchio

25%

Which Disney Character is your Alter Ego?
created with QuizFarm.com

You are Anita Blake. Strong-willed, sexy, and a force to be reckoned with. You seem to fall in love pretty easily, but seducing you is harder than hell. Necromancer and executioner. You are feared by all things dead. Perhaps thats why you attract danger like a moth to flame. You recently quit fighting your power and embraced it instead. Some call it your fall from grace, others are relieved that you've mellowed. It doesn't really matter, you kick ass now matter how mellow you get.

You are a wereWOLF...You enjoy the life of your own way and sometime prefer to be yourself and not follow rules. If that is not you... then you probably just prefer alot of blood or gorey movies...

an small update

2006-05-30T03:30:59Z

ok so its almost the end of may and i dont even know where my train of thought is at for the moment...

this last week/weekend/few days have been kinda all over the place... with the weather absolutely amazing, nothing has really been planned and everything had kinda just gone my spur of the moment decisions. all i know is that i have come to some very crazy realizations as to what i'd like to do for the summer as well as gave myself a few goals for the next few months as well as next year.

goals include:
1. toning up over the summer
2. possibly getting in good enough shape that i'll be able to get a new piercing (a little far fetched but hey its def a thought)
3. spending some time in the sun for i'm not a ghost... LOL! yeah i know not really a tough goal but if u've seen how white i am u'd realize the challenge
4. keep up with tae bo work outs and try to get in on some pick-up hockey (*crosses fingers and hopes doesnt kill self*)
5. choreograph 2 dances by end of summer(solo and small group lyric) for next years dance club show
6. start getting in physical, flexible, and proper dance shape for potential audition next summer in hopes to make it past first 2 cuts..
7. keep good eating habits and work outs over skool year so i dont get back outta shape

LOL! yeah thats kinda all over the place. but there are def a few i will get done and i hope to get em all. #6 is kinda a big goal i have cuz i've set my mind to it and i'm going for the audition in NY next summer. i'm not going to back out and if i hope to get past the first cut.. let alone the 2nd cut i have to start working my ass off.. *crosses fingers*.. and in all honesty i dont care where the auditions take me, whether they end on the first day or further down the line.. i'd just like to see how far i can take it.. hehehe... stupid tv show but hey... its something worth working towards.. LOL!

ok so outside of that... i was very happy i was able to spend some time with my guy yesterday and part of 2day. i still cant believe he's leaving on friday. such a crazy thought... but it was nice to hang out. we went and saw x3 (which totally bombed btw).. was disappointed with it completely. enjoyed the company but that was about it. i could go on for quite a while about that but i'm going to leave it at that for now... madd tired and brain is starting to wonder into crazy thoughts which will just cause me to rant and rave for who knows how long and i dont feel like doing that much 2night... in too good of a mood for that... LOL! craziness i know

well festival is coming up quickly. not sure what to expect. have about 1 week left and then its busy busy busy from the 7 to the 18... LOL! crazy film festivals. i'm def looking forward to seeing how everything turns out. will be most interesting. but anyway. more to come about the festival happenings. but g2 crash so i can make early train 2morrow. peace all. hope ur enjoying the great weather.

school is out for summer...

2006-05-18T05:17:54Z

so today kick started the beginning of summer break... and it couldnt have started off better...

first off, i got to spend the night with my guy... hehe.. was very happy to be able to spend the extra time with him before starting the summer... and although i'm as completely sore at the moment i actually enjoyed helping him move outta the dorm... LOL! if he knew i said that just now about being sore i could just imagine the comment he would give me.. hehehe.. but anyway. i def enjoyed watching matts video project with him and then just spending the rest of the evening talking about anything... it was a great start to what will be a very interesting summer.. hehehe.. i'm just a little sad that i had to leave as early as i did in the morning... but oh well... i'll take whatever time i can get with him and be happy with that.. just looking forward to the next time i'll be able to see him... =oP

after leaving fitch i got to spend the day with dimarini.. hehehe.. it was pretty much like the good ol days of high school... convos were good and def enjoyed the afternoon filled with johnny rockets burgers and chilly cheese fries and a movie... hehhe... and omg!!!! an american haunting is a MUST SEE!!! hehehe... i was scared shitless but it was amazing... the cinematography was amazing and totally added to the whole psychological thrill/suspense of the movie.. it actually got so bad that i spilt half a bag of popcorn all over me which ended up in my hoodie and all over the place... LOL! i was just glad that it wasnt a drink i was holding other wise marini and i would both have been covered.. LOL! i was actually quite jumpie most of the rest of the evening cuz of the film.. LOL! i just wonder if it will affect my sleeping tonight... hehehe.. in a way i hope it does cuz its been forever since i've found a movie that has scared me as much as this one did... it was awesome though.. hehehe.... it is def a must see w/ ur special someone so that u can curl up against them/in their arms when u start to get scared.. hehehe.. ;-)

after that marini and i came back to sturbridge and watched the ringer.. i was actually quite impressed with the film... i wasnt expecting it to be as good as it was since i'm really not a knoxville fan... but it was soooo funny and actually had a good story/script.. ehehe..

i'm totally movied out right at the moment.. LOL! a first for me in a long time... i think i'm a little worn out after the first film from today.. LOL! but anyway...

the good news about today is that a lot of good things/news seems to have come. i'm totally psyched for my guy... hehehe.. although i am a little jealous that he'll get to spend his summer in NY... i'm happy that he got an internship for the summer at MTV... i am a little sad in the fact that i will miss him very much since it'll be hard to see him as much as i'd like to.. but i'm not too worried about it... i do plan on making a trip or so out to see him when he'd like me to so i have that to look forward to... and there is always the phone... i'm so happy for him that whatever happens as far as me having to deal with how much i'll miss him while he's gone is that i'll just have to keep in mind that NY isnt that far away... and i can call him.. and that when he's ready for a visit i can do that... hehehe... =oD... just find ways of working around the distance..

but on top of me trying to keep myself from going crazy over that... i have quite a bit planned for my own summer.. hehehe.. i'm still working the BIFF which starts in about 3 weeks.. and i'm going into the office 2morrow to find out what all is needed for that... then i have all of that til the 11th-ish of june b4 i head to nantucket for the NFF from the 14-18th of june.. hehehe.. work my ass off their and then enjoy the island and films for a week or so... then to come back and get down and dirty with catch up reading reguarding film books/texts that i never read/finished... on top of a visit from cali chris.. LOL! although he's going to be busy like crazy with the roller hockey tournament that his kids are in... and then i'm hoping to do some work coaching a little.. and of course finishing up the 2 dance routines that i've started working on already for next years dance club.. hehehe.. so excited on working on those... so many ideas and just kinda hoping it all turns out right... LOL! *crosses fingers*... although i know from past experience that the hardest part of the dance routines is finding costumes that work.. LOL! but thats done and taken care of so now its just the dances themself and i'm all set... hehehe..

so at the moment that is my summer plans and just a quick note on how things have started... hehehe... more updates to come... peace

long time no say

2006-05-01T15:54:46Z

ok so its the first of may... we have technically 2 weeks left of school, including finals and then we are out for summer... =o)... hehehe... and its been forever since i've written anything and so much has happened... and so many unanswered questions that have come up that i wish didnt keep coming up... LOL! i always seem to screw with myself and make things go from bad to worse when everything is going so great. but anyway....

ok so to start off with i think i should finally name my mcdreamy... LOL! i've been writing about him for over a year and never mentioned his name... but i think that it is now safe to do so... i mean not that people probably dont already know if they've seen me around campus... but since i first wrote about him he's always been either 'that guy in the editing suite' or 'mcdreamy'... i just feel that it is time to come clean with a name... LOL! so here it is.. jonathan... and i must admit.. with how things have happened over the last 2 months or so i could never have asked for anything more... i'm very happy in this relationship and everything is so much fun... =oP... i just find how everything that i did last year has come full circle as far as people i know who know others that i didnt know who i know now and how in reality its really quite a small world.. LOL! yeah i know that doesnt make that much sense but i know what it was i was trying to say... hehehe...

ok so other than mr mcdreamy things have been pretty much on the up side... i backed out of transfering down to providence and probably for reason that shouldnt have ever even been considered... but in reality its whats really made me happy these last few months of school... with the dance club and everything involved there (even the drama of it all which of course never fails to amuse me) i know that if i did transfer i would never dance again and that idea really scares me... makes me quite sad actually... LOL! never thought i'd say that but its the truth... i miss it.. i miss competing and getting to hyped up over the little things... hehehe... mayb i should try for a few competitions next year... hmmmm... i dono... an idea... LOL!... and i wish in all honesty that i never quit.. but i did and i'm back... i just dont wanna stop quite yet... but i donno how serious i wanna go with it.. mayb very serious but right now i'm just enjoying the sport like i used to and thats a good starting point...

i've even gotten back into my figure skating a little.. LOL! yeah yeah... "toe pick"... LOL! but that is of course due to jonathan... we've gone skating a few times and i've never had more fun... i used to hide my figure skates in the back of my closet and now they are back on the ice... and i never thought i'd say this either.. but i miss skating as well.. the thrill of the jumps and spins... the joys of landing a jump that u've been working on for months... hehehe... i miss all of that...

ok... but on a more serious note and away from all the fun i've been having i have been working quite a bit as well... working festivals again this year. starting with the boston international festival which i'm helping with right now... i'm just having a few issues with how long i wanna stay once the festival starts... i mean i totally wanna b there for the closing night to see danny glover, but i also want to get a good start on the nantucket festival... i mean i'm going to be out there anyway... but i really had a lot of fun working the clean up crew 3 days b4 the festival started and then hitting the opening night galla... if i stay with boston until its over thats the 15th of june... which is the 2nd day of the nantucket festival... which means i'd only be there from the 16th to the 18th for the closing day events... i want to be there for more than that... grrrrrr... and then right after that i get to do the whole tour guide for a kali friend thats coming out and then jump right into the next festival in july... LOL! funfun... but yeah... so i'm totally confused as to what to do about that... if any one has any ideas just let me know... hehehe... always open for advice... but anyway...

well... this is quite long and i actually have to get running to class... so more to come later... peace all...

bye-bye

necroticfreak13 @ 2006-04-28T18:26:00

2006-04-28T22:28:19Z

Find your own pose!

Bubble Blower Traits and Tendencies
Bubble Blowers live in a constant state of reinvention. They thrive on trying new things — foods, countries, careers — and their look is always changing (from mod to soup dragon to robot chic). This endless string of transformations would be disorienting if it weren't for the one constant in their lives: the reconnection they find night after night in The Bubble Blowers pose.
Comfort Zone
The Bubble Blower is a Sea pose. Other Sea poses a Bubble Blower might explore: Cliffhanger and The Colon.
A Tip about Preparing for the Pose,/b>
The Bubble Blower is a classic Sea pose, meaning its focus is on symmetry and synchronicity. To deepen the experience of the pose, try playing the Mirror Game (sit knee-to-knee and maintain eye contact as slowly you move your hands, heads, necks, and midriffs in concert) in the hour before bedtime.

Find your own pose!

high school

2006-04-22T02:34:15Z

Your senior year in High School is supposed to be one of "the best year of your life." Let's see how much you remember.

Year: 2004
1. Who was your best friend? sean marino
2. What sports did you play? ice hockey but not for the wschool
3. What kind of car did you drive? 1998 subaru forrester
4. It's Friday night, where were you? worked and then skated til 1am
5. Were you a party animal? nope...
6. Were you in the "In Crowd"? hell no
7. Ever skip school? all the time... as well as just ditched 1/2 way thru the day
8. Ever smoke? nope
9. Were you a nerd? eh.. in some aspects
10. Suspended? nope
11. Can you sing the Alma Mater? huh?
12. Who was your favorite teacher? mr bansak, mr randall, mr anderson, mr maccio, mr ventimilia,
13. Favorite class? all math classes, american cinema, drama
14. What was your school's full name? tantasqua regional vocational senior high school
15. School mascot? warrior
16. Did you go to the prom? yeah
17. If you could go back and do it over, would you chill with old friends?yes
18. What do you remember most about graduation? the crazy events that lead up to the ceremony....
19. Favorite memory of your Senior Year? i hated senior yr
20. Were you ever posted up on the senior wall? what is that exactly???
21. Did you have a job your senior year? coaching hockey and starbucks
22. Who did you date? paul cappo
23. Where did you go most often for lunch? cafeteria
24. Have you gained weight since then? ...??? possibly
25. What did you do after graduation? went home and slept

i've seen way tooooo many movies... LOL!

2006-04-01T00:39:39Z

got this from a friend... was bored and this proves just how true it is when i say i have no life

Movies I've seen...this should be fun
(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Boondock Saints
(x) The Mexican
(x) Fight Club
(x) Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
(x) Blazing Saddles
(x) Airplane

Total: 10

(x) The Princess Bride
(x) Young Frankenstien
(x) AnchorMan: The Legend of Ron Burgandy
(x) Napoleon Dynamite
(x) Labyrinth
(x) Saw
(x) Saw II
(x) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
(x) Anger Management
(x) 50 First Dates
(x) Jason X

Total: 11

(x) Scream
(x) Scream 2
(x) Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
(x) Scary Movie 2
(x) Scary Movie 3
(x) American Pie
(x) American Pie 2
(x) American Wedding
(x) American Pie Band Camp

Total: 10

(x) Harry Potter
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
(x) Resident Evil I
(x) Resident Evil: Apocalypse
(x) The Wedding Singer
(x) Little Black Book
(x) The Village
(x) Donnie Darko
(x) Lilo & Stitch.
( ) Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch has a Glitch

Total: 11

(x) Finding Nemo
(x) Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
(x) The Grinch
( )Texas Chainsaw Massacre
(x) White Chicks
(x) Butterfly Effect
(x) Thirteen Going on 30
(x) I, Robot
(x) The Birdcage

Total: 9

(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
(x) Universal Soldier
(x) A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(x) Along Came Polly
(x) Deep Impact
(x) KingPin
(x) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
(x) Meet the Fockers
(x) Eight Crazy Nights
(x) Joe Dirt

Total: 11

(x) A Cinderella Story
(x) The Terminal
(x) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
(x) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
(x) Dumb and Dumberer
(x) Final Destination
(x) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
(x) Halloween
(x) The Ring
(x) The Ring 2
(x) Precint 13

Total: 12

(x) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(x) Practical Magic
(x) Chicago
(x) Ghost Ship
(x) From Hell
(x) Hellboy
(x) Secret Window
(x) I Am Sam
(x) The Whole Nine Yards
(x) The Whole Ten Yards

Total: 10

(x) The Day After Tomorrow
( ) Child's Play
( ) Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
(x) Just Married
(x) Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
(x) Remember the Titans
(x) Coach Carter
(x) Bad Boys

Total: 9

(x) Bad Boys 2
(x) Joy Ride
(x) Se7en
(x) Ocean's Eleven
( ) Ocean's Twelve
(x) Identity
(x) Lone Star
(x) Bedazzled
(x) Predator I
(x) Predator II

Total: 9

(x) Independence Day
(x) Cujo
(x) Bronx Tale
(x) Darkness Falls
( ) Christine
(x) ET
(x) Children of the Corn
(x) My Boss's daughter
(x) Maid in Manhattan
( ) Frailty

Total: 8

( ) Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x) She's All That
(x) Calendar Girls
(x) Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks
(x) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Forrest Gump
(x) Big Trouble in Little China

Total: 9

(x) X-men
(x) X-men2
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
(x) Sky High
(x) Jeepers Creepers
(x) Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Others
(x) Freaky Friday
(x) Reign of Fire
(x) Cruel Intentions
(x) Cruel Intentions 2
(x) The Hot Chick

Total: 13

(x) Swimfan
(x) Miracle
(x) Old School
(x) The Notebook
(x) K-Pax
(x) Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
(x) A Walk to Remember
(x) Boogeyman
(x) Saved

Total: 11

(x) Hitch
(x) The Fifth Element
(x) Star Wars Episode I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Episode II Attack of The Clones
(x) Star Wars Episode III Revenge of The Sith
(x) Star Wars Episode IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Episode V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Episode VI Return of The Jedi
(x) Troop Beverly Hills
( ) Swimming with Sharks

Total: 9

(x) Air Force One
(x) For Richer or Poorer
(x) Trainspotting
(x) People Under the Stairs......
( ) Blue Velvet
( ) Sound of Music
(x) Parent Trap
(x) The Birds
(x) The Terminator
(x) Terminator-2
( ) T-86

Total: 8

(x) Empire Records
( ) SLC Punk
(x) Meet Joe Black
(x) Nightmare Before Christmas
(x) The Silence of the Lambs
(x) Sleepy Hollow
(x) I Heart Huckabees
( ) 24 Hour Party People
( ) Blood In Blood Out
(x) Animal house

Total: 7

(x) Thirteen
( ) Manic
(x) American History X
(x) Deep Blue Sea
(x) George of the Jungle
(x) Breakfast club
(x) Canadian Bacon
( ) Big Black Titties
(x) How High
(x) The Jackal
( ) My Little Ponys Grand Adventure

Total: 8

Over all total: 176

its been forever

2006-03-26T22:41:24Z

ok so here's the news... LOL!

spring break spent in kali... had a blast... although there were times that i couldnt stop thinking about certain people back here... LOL! it was torture being 3000 some odd miles away from the people i've been friends with for the past 9 yrs and trying to be civil with people i havent seen/heard from/talked w/had any sort of communication in 6-11 yrs... LOL! o yes... i got in touch and spent several days with someone whom i havent seen or had any communication with since i was like 11. thats just crazy. but it was fun... i was able to work while i was out there and i had soooo much fun. it makes me want to get serious about coaching... only problem was that it was in-line which i have no idea how to realyl do and had no idea how to stop... so first hr coaching what do i do... i challenge the smart asses on the floor to a race cuz if it was any other surface i knew i'd b able to beat them and not be tired once getting down to the other end... but o no... i get 1/2 way down the floor sprinting full speed when i remember that i have no idea how to stop... LOL! o yes... so next best thing is to bail and fall and hope that the burns and bruises i'd get wouldnt hurt tooo badly... LOL! so yeah. i had a welt that covered my entire knee and a burn down my left arm... LOL! it was pretty damn funny... but other than that everything was amazing.. the adult session was fantastic and everything went really well... i've never really ran my own clinic or anything... its always been through dillon and his "people" there... but it was all me and it went really well... i was really happy about how things turned out... and i've been asked to go back and coach whenever i go out to cali... so thats really exciting...

other than that my time w/ chris was interesting... LOL! some drunken texting at a bar to mcdreamy back home... a little stumbling around after some light drinking which did me in for the night while listening to a cover bad w/ guys from the rink... LOL! tenacious d is awesome!!!! and of course some beach visits... the "spot"... and a little drag racing... LOL! i jsut hope he doesnt expect to get away w/ his driving skills when he comes back here... LOL! that would just be bad... but anyway... o... and lets not forget the pizza crust story w/ the original captin sparrow the seagull... LOL! only the best thing ever...

after that i spent a few days w/ my grandmother and cousin whom i havent seen in about 7+ years... and then some time w/ my bro... LOL! i love my bro to death but there are just some things that u dont wanna know about ur siblings... LOL! but it was nice hanging w/ him for a few days... spent some time in SF.. got to experience the jagger bottle guy... as well as the captain sparrow pigeon... LOL! and then after that went to see v for vendeta which was absolutely amazing and everyone should go see it... and thne ultraviolet which sucked and should have walked out a lot earlier than we did... LOL! it could have had such potential... but man did it crash and burn... LOL!

after that i returned home which i was very excited about... i was so glad to get back and be able to actually see mcdreamy vs. just talking with him a little here and there while i was in kali... and things there have been really really good... its been a long time since i've been this happy bout a guy... =oD... everything has been so insane w/ him... it fells like something that would only happen in a fairy tale or in some chick flick... LOL! its funny to think about it that way especially since my cousin had said something about that while i was hanging out w/ her in kali... LOL! how things like this dont happen in real life... and that she figured that the next time she met a guy she'd pull a chick flick move and see if it happened like it does in the movies... LOL! but anyway... all joking aside now... but yeah... so that area has been great... and as of yesterday i can now officially say that i'm going out w/ mcdreamy... =oD... hehehehe... i'm sooo happy right now and its just soo much fun being w/ him.. we went out skating the other day and then to a mexican restaurant and then just spent the rest of the night together... everything was just so perfect and i was just so happy with everything... LOL! i still cant believe its happened though... but yeah so anyway...

so yeah i'm gonna end this b4 i totally start spazing out... LOL! g2 get abck to hw anyway... so yeah... peace all...

1. Arabella Figg or Filch
2. Ludo Bagman or Barty Crouch Sr.
3. Crookshanks or Mrs. Norris [I'm totally not into beastiality]
4. Pig or Hedwig [See above]
5. Katie Bell or Angelina Johnson
6. Oliver Wood or Lee Jordan
7. Millicent Bulstrode or Pansy Parkinson
8. Cornelius Fudge or Rufus Scrimgeour
9. Bellatrix Lestrange or Narcissa Malfoy
10. Cho Chang or Fleur Delacour
11. Lavender Brown or Hermione Granger
12. Rodolphus Lestrange or Regulus Black
13. Professor Flitwick or Professor Binns [How do you do it with a ghost?]
14. McGonagall or Trelawney
15. Cedric Diggory or Viktor Krum [Pre-death of course]
16. Lily Evans or Ginny Weasley
17. Peter Pettigrew or Neville Longbottom
18. Crabbe or Goyle
19. Seamus or Dean
20. James Potter or the Giant Squid
21. Draco Malfoy or Severus Snape
22. Tom Riddle or Lucius Malfoy
23. Voldemort or Hagrid [hehehe... ralph all the way... =oP]
24. Fred or George
25. Bill or Charlie
26. Percy or Arthur Weasley
27. Godric Griffindor or Salazar Slytherin
28. Rowena Ravenclaw or Helga Hufflepuff
29. Fabian or Gideon [...???]
30. Fleur Delacour or Nymphadora Tonks
31. Remus Lupin or Sirius Black
32. Igor Karkaroff or Barty Crouch Jr.
33. Mad Eye Moody or Lockhart [...LOL... so not going there]
34. Kingsley Shacklebolt or Frank Longbottom
35. Albus Dumbledore or Merlin
36. Cormac McClaggan or Zacharias Smith
37. Harry Potter or Ron Weasley
38. Voldemort or Grindelwald [It is, after all, Ralph Fiennes ;D]
39. Moaning Myrtle or Merope Gaunt [...?]
40. Rita Skeeter or Dolores Umbridge
41. Stan Shunpike or Horace Slughorn
42. Hooch or Sprout

so not going to answer all of those... LOL! wouldnt even know where to start... LOL!

blah... but a post

2006-03-16T18:39:53Z

so i'm sitting here in sunny cali and freaking out cuz i have no idea what to do... LOL! i mean so much has happened in the last week or so and right now i feel like i'm just sitting on train tracks waiting for a train to come a run me over... yeah that doesnt sound very pleasant but its the truth... i mean with all thats happened w/ mcdreamy over the last week things have just seemed to hit me all at once... but anyway... and right now i'm sitting on my bros couch waiting for him to get up so taht i can figure out whats going on... and i keep getting calls from chris and its starting to drive me nuts. and the sun is shinning and the sky is bright blue and its hot!!! ideas of the beach are dancing in my head like sugar plum fairies... LOL! so sorry... but its the truth... i've been teased w/ pictures and convos about the beach and how hots its been back here and now i'm here and i was just told that i may end up spending part of the day in santa cruz for a bit as i drive back down south a bit... AAAAHHHHHHHH!!! i just wish the boardwalk was open and the big dipper was running... that would just be absolutely amazing...

ok.. so now its past that time... i've been down to hollister... got my ass handed to me playing roller hockey... got trashed at a bad after drinking almost nothing... and then spent a few days at my grandmothers... i've never been to hollister and never really hung out with chris... he was always the one guy from my youth that i wondered about... what happened to him.. where he went... how he was doing... was he still skating... things like that... and it was insane... LOL! i never thought that after 10 years of no communication... and only really being in touch at the rink... and it being 5th/6th grade and being a "little kid" (not like i've grown since then or anything.. ;o)...) and everything that was kinda left unsaid between us it was just insane being around him again... but everything has changed... i got in touch with chris just before mcdream n i started really talking and long before anything else happened between us... and i remember thinking holy shit its chris and i still have the same feelings for him and its like nothing has changed and i wish i knew how to act around him and i hope i dont act like a total spaz since right now i feel like i did back in 5th grade when i first met him and just like i did when we shared our first kiss... it was an insane feeling... but it seemed that all of the weirdness just went away... yeah i felt goofy around him... but my concerns werent on "oh shit i hope he doesnt realize i never got over him completely..." my thoughts were more along the lines of "wow its been 10 years and the friendship is awesome and amazing but i know that once i get back home i'll be happy w/ mcdreamy... i've yet to stop thinking about him the whole time i've been out here and i just cant wait to get abck and see him... its insane... it feels like torture being able to talk to him and think about being with him and yet knowing that he's 3000 miles away... its insane and i hope i can make it to sunday b4 i totally snap... but anyway...

i have so much more to write about but i'm leaving for the city w/ my bro... hope to have some time to write more later... so much is bottled up right now that i'm not sure what to share and get out in the open... but anyway... gonna enjoy sunny kali... peace

hopes of a nice change...

2006-02-25T04:32:36Z

so i spent most of the morning down in warwick w/ my dad checking out a school that i'm most likely going to be transfering to. i'm totally syched... =oD... no more fluff classes. its a tech school so its going to be the good the bad and the ugly of video and radio production. hehehe...

on top of that i've had a pretty good week. i've had a few changes as far as poor routines that i was in go through a full 360 thanx to my mcdreamy... yes that is what im calling him. LOL! he's not the real mcdreamy but he stands a very good chance.. LOL! but anyway. and the thing that i love is that i got a call from chris a few hours ago and he could actually hear the change in my voice. i'm shocked that i was able to get as much out into the open when i was talking w/ mcdreamy last night, but in all honesty its helped a lot. i'm totally greatful for that. i'm just now a little leery cuz i got a text w/ "sweetie" in it and i'm not sure where it came from... grrrr.. LOL! over thinking now... but i'm in a great mood and i cant wait to get out to cali and just chill for a week w/ friends and family. life is starting to look up once again. i'll just continue to keep my fingers crossed when it comes to the new people in my life... =o)

short and sweet... and kinda random... but its been a long time and i felt i was a little over due...

peace

having a little fun....

2006-02-09T20:31:45Z

Your Famous Movie Kiss is from Cruel Intentions

"I'm the only girl you can't have, and it kills you."

What Famous Movie Kiss Are You?

You Should Get An Asian Inspired Tattoo

Mysterious and expressive
You like to show off, but you also like to keep some allure

What Tattoo Should You Get?

You Are Right Brained In Love

Bit of a drama queen
Peacemaker, first to end a fight
Good at thinking up creative dates
Tend to fall in love and get hurt easily
Going with your gut instead of your head
Emphathetic and caring, sometimes to a fault
Good at recognizing patterns in relationships
Been in love many times, perhaps too many to count
Wildly passionate and intense when falling in love
Spontaneous with relationships, going with the flow
Overly visual - can play back past dates like movies in your mind
Roses, love poems, and stuffed animals are a good start to winning your heart

Are You Right Brained or Left Brained in Love?

necroticfreak13 @ 2006-02-08T11:43:00

2006-02-08T21:00:04Z

Peep

Your a marshmallow peep! You look cute, but in truth, you are full of hate. Behind your beady chocolate eyes are a torrent of evil thoughts. You hate the world for biting off the soft marshmellow heads of your comrads. Most people think your inocent and sweet, but there are few who know zee truth behind your yellow and pink sugar coating.

Thanks for taking my quiz! Please take a moment to take my new Quiz! How Excitable Are You?
What Kind of Candy Are You?- With Images!

1. Do you like chinese food? Love it.
2. How big is your bed? Full
3. Is your room clean? i think clean is a relative term
4. Laptop or desktop computer? laptop
5. Favorite comedian? chris rock and robin williams
6. Favorite Thing in your Bedroom? my bed is the only thing in my bedroom... LOL!
7. Sleep with or without clothes on? with
8. Who do you sleep with every night? lavender... but i guess he doesnt really count
9. Do long distance relationships work? i'd like to think so... LOL! i have high hopes anyway
10. How many times have you been pulled over by the police? only twice... *knocks on wood*
11. Pancakes or french toast? pancakes
12. Do you like coffee? hook me up to an IV and i'm good to go.. LOL!
13. How do you like your eggs? scrambled
14. Do you believe in astrology? yes
15. Last person you talked to on the phone? well... technically my rents... but if you count texting chris...
16. Last person on your missed call list? ...?? no one
17. What was the last text message you received? "yeah dog" from chris
18. Mcdonalds or Burger King? bk all the way
19. Number of pillows? 4
20. What are you hearing right now? the humming of my laptop and the sound of clicking keys under my fingers
21. Pick a lyric, any lyric or song? self-conclusion
22. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich? ...??? pamagranate (i dont think i spelt that right)
23. Can you play pool? LOL! i attempt very well... =oP
24. Do you know how to swim? yes
25. Favorite ice cream? white chocolate raspberry truffle by b&j... or white chocolate mocha latte by starbucks... although mint chocolate chip is always a winner
26. What color is your purse/backpack? olive green and painted wildly by my brother
27. Tell me a random fact: ...?? the hanson brothers are infact not completely brothers...well 2 are but the other is a cousin... and they arent really hansons either... but carlsons
28. Ever play spin the bottle? LOL! yes
29. Ever attend a theme party? does a halloween party count??
30. Kissing or Hugging? hugging... but kissing is always good...
31. Favorite quote?
harry - you realize of course that we could never be friends
sally - why not?
h - what i'm saying-and this is not a come-on in any way, shape, or form-is that men and women can't be friends, because the sex part always gets in the way.
s - thats not true. i have a number of men friends and theres no sex involved
h - no you dont
s - yes i do
h - you only think you do
s - you're saying i'm having sex with these me without my knowledge?
h - no i'm saying that they want to have sex with you
s - they do not
h - do too
s - they do not
h - do too
s - how do you know?
h - because no man can be friends with a woman he finds attractive. he always wants to have sex with her.
s - so you're saying a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive.
h - no. you pretty much want to nail them too.
s - what if they dont want to have sex with you?
h - doesn't matter, because the sex thing is already out there, so the friendship is ultimately doomed, and that is the end of the story."

hehehe... i love when harry meet sally...

32. Do you shower in the morning or at night? night
33. Last time you laughed at something stupid? yesterday
34. What time did you wake up this morning? alarm went off at 930... but didnt get outta bed til 1030
35. Best thing about winter? getting back in touch with chris
36. Last time a cop gave you a ticket? LOL! hmmm... i think i'll leave it at the sailbury beach since thats all i'm willing to reveal at the moment... LOL!
37. Name of your first pet? rocky...
38. Do you think pirates are cool or overrated? way cool
39. What do you do on weekdays? go to class and watch tv
40. What are you doing this weekend? i hope to stay away from home but i have a feeling i'll end up there
41. Are you desperate for anything right now? LOL!... o yeah

1) Using FOOD names, spell out your name
h- hamburger
a- apple
n- nachos
n- nestea
a- apricot
h- hot dog

2) Have you ever had a song written about you?
i once had a song written for me... but i couldnt understand the lyrics.. LOL! makes me wonder what that person was really trying to tell me... LOL!

3) What songs usually makes you cry?
a lot have lately

4) What songs make you happy?
songs that remind me of good times... 99 red ballons

5) What do you like to do before bed?
go online or read anita blake

HEIGHT:
4'11"

HAIR COLOR:
dark brown

PIERCINGS:
2... ears

TATTOOS:
none but i want one

RIGHT NOW:

WHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING?:
windbreakers

WHAT SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
a jack skellington shirt

WHAT SONG ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
none

WHAT TASTE IS IN YOUR MOUTH?:
nothing

WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE?:
cold

HOW ARE YOU?
tired... pissed off at family... wanting to get to cali quicker to spend time with chris

DO YOU:

GET MOTION SICKNESS?:
Nope

HAVE A BAD HABIT?:
Yes, oh so many

GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?:
Never

FAVORITES:

TV SHOW:
Too many to name!

CONDITIONER:
Um, herbal essences?

MAGAZINE:
Entertainment Weekly

THING TO DO ON THE WEEKEND:
a whole lot of nothing

HAVE YOU EVER:

BROKEN THE LAW:
Yes

RUN AWAY FROM HOME:
no

SNUCK OUT OF THE HOUSE:
no

EVER GONE SKINNY DIPPING:
no

USED YOUR PARENTS' CREDIT CARD BEFORE:
yep...

LET A FRIEND CRY ON YOUR SHOULDER:
of course

HAD CHILDREN:
no

BEEN IN LOVE?:
yes

HAD A HARD TIME GETTING OVER SOMEONE:
LOL! yes

BEEN HURT?:
Yes

YOUR GREATEST REGRET?:
there are a few but i will plee the 5th

RANDOM:

YOUR CD PLAYER HAS IN IT RIGHT NOW:
whats a cd player?? LOL! ipod is on shuffle

IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?:
black

WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?:
chris... being on the ice...

WHAT MAKES YOU THE HAPPIEST?:
hehe... chris and movies

WHAT'S THE NEXT CD YOU'RE GONNA GET?:
no idea

WHEN/WHAT WAS THE LAST:

TIME YOU CRIED?
last night

TIME YOU GOT A REAL LETTER?
a few weeks ago

YOU GOT AN E-MAIL:
few hours ago

TV PROGRAM YOU WATCHED:
project runway

MOVIE YOU SAW:
corpse bride

a test taken from a friend

2006-02-08T04:47:59Z

these are 1. scary and 2. a little funny... LOL!

How to make a hannah

Ingredients:

5 parts jealousy

5 parts ambition

5 parts empathy

Method:
Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Top it off with a sprinkle of lustfulness and enjoy!

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

How to make a hannah

Ingredients:

5 parts jealousy

5 parts ambition

5 parts empathy

Method:
Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Top it off with a sprinkle of lustfulness and enjoy!

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

i think its funny that capitalization actually makes a difference like it does... LOL!

bored

2006-02-08T04:41:32Z

bored and trying to kill time by not doing HW...

1. Initials: HMKD
2. Name someone with the same birthday as you: A GIRL I WAS IN 5TH GRADE W/ NAMED JOANNA
3. Favorite fruit?: MANGO
4. For or against same sex marriage?: FOR... WE SHOULD ALL BE ABLE TO SUFFER THE PAINS OF MARRIAGE EQUALLY
5. Are you allergic to anything?: NOPE
6. Are you bisexual?: NOPE
7. Have you ever slept in someone elses clothes?: ONCE
8. How many U.S states have you been to?: 29
9. How many of the U.S states have you lived in? 2, MASS AND CALI
10. Have you ever lived outside the U.S? NOPE BUT WISH TO
11. Name something physical you like about yourself? EYES
12. Something non-physical you like about yourself? ...??
13. do you have any pets? NOT AT THE MOMENT
14. What is your dream car? CONVERTIBLE BEETLE
15. If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go? ITALY AND/OR GREECE
16. Are you bipolar? NO
17. What dream car do you want your husband/wife to drive? ...???
18. Where would you want to go on a first date? A HOCKEY GAME AND THEN OUT FOR PIZZA
19. Would you date the person who posted this before you? I LIKE HEATHER AS A PERSON... BUT SHE'S NOT REALLY MY TYPE. SORRY GIRL
20. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally? ONCE... NOT VERY HAPPY ABOUT IT
21. Ever been kissed under fireworks? NO
22. Do you like George Bush? HELL NO
23. Have you ever bungee jumped? NO BUT I'M HOPING TO
24. Have you ever white water rafted? NOPE BUT WANT TO
25. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you? LOL! UMMMM... WELL... I THINK ITS SAFER THAT I PLEE THE 5TH ON THIS ONE
26. Are you racist? DEFINATELY NOT
27. What song are you listening to right now? NONE. TV IS GOING
28. What's your favorite song at the moment? ME AND MY GIRL - BY THEORY OF A DEAD MAN OR SELF-CONCLUSION - BY ONE FELL SWOOP
29. What was the last movie you watched? CORPSE BRIDE W/ THE PARENTALS
30. Where was the last place you went besides your house? SCHOOL
31. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else's property? NO
32. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex? LOL! ON A FEW OCCASIONS...
33. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? EYES AND SMILE
34. What's ur fav. body part on the opposite sex? ....??? DO I HAVE TO PICK JUST ONE??
35. What do you usually order from Starbucks? ICED VENTI QUAD NON-FAT NO WHIP LITE ICE WHITE MOCHA
36. Say something totally random about yourself: I'M A REALITY SHOW JUNKIE
37. Do you have an iPod? OF COURSE...
38. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? NO
39. Do you have freckles? A FEW
40. Are you comfortable with your height? LOL! WHAT A QUESTION TO ASK... LOL!
41. Do you love someone right now? YES... I'M JUST WONDERING IF IT WILL CAUSE ME PROBLEMS DOWN THE LINE
42. How tall are you? 4'11"
43. Do you speak any other language other than english? NOPE
44. Have you ever ridden in a limo? JUNIOR PROM
45. Has anyone you were really close to passed away? JUST PETS... I WASNT REALLY CLOSE TO MY UNCLE AND I WAS TOO YOUNG TO REALLY REMEMEBR MY GRANDFATHER, AND I MOVED ABOUT 5 YEARS BEFORE MY GRANDMOTHER PASSED
46. Do you watch MTV? NO
48. What's something that really annoys you? THE FACT THAT MASS-ITES CANT DRIVE AND DONT KNOW HOW TO MERGE
50. Do you like Michael Jackson? HIS MUSIC IS OK.. BUT OTHER THAN THAT NOT REALLY
51. Have you ever surfed? BOOGIE BOARD AND BODY BOARD... NOTHING ELSE
52. Do you know how to pump gas? YES... BUT THERE ARE TIMES I HAVE DIFFICULTIES
53. Do you drive? A LITTLE TOO MUCH
54. What's the latest you have ever stayed out? LOL! DOES 2 DAYS STRAIGHT W/ NO SLEEP COUNT?
55. Have you ever thought that you were honestly going to die? NO
56. Were you ever rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room? NOT BY AN AMBULANCE... BUT I HAVE BEEN TO THE ER QUITE A BIT
57. Have you ever been dared to do something you didn't want to do? LOL! O YEAH
58. What's your favorite state to live in? I HAVE MIXED FEELINGS AT THE MOMENT
59. What color is your hair? DARK BROWN
60. What color are your eyes? HAZEL
61. Do you have any special talents? I DONT THINK SO... BUT OTHERS WILL DISAGREE WITH THAT
62. Favorite non-alcoholic drink? ROOT BEER
63. Favorite city? MIXED FEELINGS
64. Have you ever ridden a mechanical bull? NO
65. If you were working on a pirate ship, what would you most likely be? LOL!!! THE CAPTAIN... ;o)
66. Who do you live with? NO ONE
67. Last thing you watched on TV? OMG!! I JUST TOTALLY DREW A BLANK... LOL! MEANS I WATCH WAY TOO MUCH TV... O... OO... I REMEMBER... HEHEHHE... PROJECT RUNWAY
68. Do you wear glasses or contacts? GLASSES WHEN I'M TOO LAZY TO WEAR CONTACTS
69. Have you ever taken a roadtrip? HEHEHE... O YEAH... CALI TO MASS

necroticfreak13 @ 2006-02-06T23:00:00

2006-02-07T04:02:39Z

AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

flying to cali mar 8 and staying to the 18/19... and i have a job!!! i absolutely <3 chris... i will be coaching skating for about 2 days while i'm out there... and i'm sooooo syched!!! ahhhhhhh!!! i totally cant wait